The term that has now sounds cool to ears without any shame. I used to hate smoking. I hate the smell and those who smoke weren’t appealing to me but then, I saw a boy, his style and confidence level of smoking seems enticing I asked him to quit it but he replied he is doing it since high school and now it’s impossible for him to quit. The personality was so attractive that I myself, started thinking that not every smoker is bad. After few days, it was merely coincidental that my chemistry syllabus included an experiment to calculate the amount of tar in cigarette. Everyone was there and the cigarette was in my hand. I was just starring that particular entity that has fascinated more than 95% of individuals. I was wondering why this object has attracted so many of populaces. What sort of specific ingredients have mesmerized so many individuals? The answer to that lies in the experience I had to sink in that to get the reply. Everything every answer lies in that little white object.
A moment came, when I put that entity close to my lips and inhaled that flame and exhaled the smoke out. I didn’t experience any cough or throat irritation I don’t know why but all I know was I did that in the name of experience.
Few months later, I shut the doors of loathe for cigarette and tried that again, but this time I smoked and finished one complete cigarette. I knew that it will destroy me, I knew that it’s harmful for health, but I forgot, removed, cleared everything from my mind and started focusing on the smoke and the flare that was in my hand. I felt like it’s a kind of light to my darkness, but I ignored that, the light was fire and fire always burn. I knew everything that it will burn me, but I lost it all consciously and then I fell and fell more for it till this flame of experience and passion became my habit and addiction. When this so-called light that was once a path to happiness because I used to feel cool that “yo! I smoked” leads to its destination where I have started saying “yes! I’m a smoker”
It doesn’t seem cool anymore, it has now become a habit and I don’t do this for sake of happiness or experience anymore but to escape from reality and time. This world is a cage and human living here are frustrating enough that any individual can’t survive without taking any drug not merely a cigarette, but could be a paracetamol or something else. Indeed, this was a light because I used to feel happy after doing this shit, but this flame has burned, not only my darkness but also me along with it. Now, there is just ashes left because I’ve abandoned everything. I do smoke, I accept it. I’m a smoker but I do this to escape from reality, the reality that i tried it for experience and now i’m addicted because this world doesn’t allow anyone to survive without inhaling this particular entity. To me being a smoker, there’s no shame.