I have whatever I wanted in life became whoever I want. All the dreams have come to reality, but there’s a thing which still pricks my brain in a continuous manner i have achieved everything I wished for but sometimes things should happen on time sometimes things must be done when it was desired otherwise it loses its charm. A home, a healthy relation, a family, a peaceful life, sweetness everywhere, but am I free? Is it enough?
This question forever haunts me. A person can have everything in life but the freedom is something impossible to achieve. There is a place called heaven I guess it’s an alternate of freedom. A place where every human creature would be free, people misinterpret freedom with independence. Those who call them independent, are you really independent? Are you free of being a servant of your boss? If you’re a freelancer, don’t you have family to support if not, don’t you wanna make one because you feel lonely? If you’re alone and earning with remote jobs without anyone aren’t you following some rules to fit in community where your home lies? Freedom isn’t about being independent but living a life without fears without maintaining your public image, dealing with human without thinking twice before speaking. It doesn’t matter you’re living alone, with a friend, your spouse or a huge family, you can be free anywhere but it is impossible. A person isn’t free to wear comfortable clothes anywhere every place on earth has a dress code, aren’t you dependent to follow it? Would any person speak or meet you if you don’t look nice or rich?
I just re-read my thoughts and I feel like it’s bullshit it doesn’t label freedom but the desire to have more or to have what you lack, is dependency being independent doesn’t mean you’re free I guess the freedom is quitting the desire to have more, to have everything, to have everything which you lack. Maybe Freedom is an understanding that you can’t have everything especially what you lack.
But why I want it……I want it….. I can’t be happy in what I have, restricting a self to one goal is weird. What to do next after achieving that? Who needs freedom when you can be infinite? Heaven or hell wherever you end up in the end but why stop there? I want more, more fire more pleasures more satisfaction more money more everything…..everything to an infinitum. I don’t wanna be free I want to shake the boundaries of infinity, and move beyond it and never stop there too. I never wanna free myself from desire to have more not even after death. They say you won’t be happy with this kinda mindset, well restricting myself to one place till death, doesn’t make me happy either. If times doesn’t stop, if time doesn’t remain same why me?